The Battlefield

Behind the walls of the shield,
I fight the war beneath,
I am the army, I am the force,
I am the enemy, I am the fort.
Swords that slay me,
arms that cover me,
the blood spilled.
All are mine and all is me
I am the slayer,
I am the slayed..
I am the warrior, I am the menace..
This my battle,
This life is my battlefield; The war is my life story,
The ending is my Salvation..


Pooja Shrivastava

LOST!!

Lost….3rd August 2014

What is the worst thing that can happen….

You can lose your things; you can lose your comfort

You can lose money; you can lose your belongings

You can lose property; you can lose your roof

You can lose your loved ones; you can lose the ones who love you more

But tell me what to do -

When-

You lose yourself; you lose faith

you lose the feeling of belonging

you lose the cherished memories only the darkness engulf you

you lose the ability to love, to expect, to laugh and to enjoy

you lose the desire to live and want to succumb in the night

And Please please please tell what you do when-

You WANT to be lost….

 

.......???

Its been years that I have written; or may be written but did not want to share it here...
yea that is exactly what happened..
Past days have been troublesome to put it lightly; I don't want to say much about it here...
But I do want to say how I feel today...
What past has taught me
What shadows now follow me
What I carry with myself
It might or might not matter to everyone else..
But for me it an experience I pray no one has to encounter
and though its the cruel reality of the very world around us all
I pray that who so ever encounters it shall have the strength to bear it and move on in life...
To all my fellow survivors "Have a little faith, Hold on a little longer. Lord is watching over us all.. Don't give in to sorrows. You think its beyond your limit then happiness is just beyond the corner. He is simply testing our Faith.. Pray and stay True.. He is your Witness; He is your Partner.. "

What do you Name when you try and write about your life experiences after dying and then being alive again... . The Rising... The Re-awakening... ??? The Phoenix ...

I am not even sure I want to title this post...
How do I describe this feeling of writing again.. of wanting to write again.. of have small pieces of my soul coming back again...
Being Lost but Finding my Way back to Self
The belief that Not is All is lost
there is still hope and there is still a way forward..
A friend of mine said now that you have finally hit the ground there is only one way and that 'UP'
That's a good advice.. When things look bleak and blurry; these are the kind of words one would wanna listen...

You and I..!!!

When i thought i was lost,

you came along,

and showed me the way.

When i thought i was moving on,

you smiled,

and bade me away.

When i though i was sad,

you wiped my tears away. 

you held me

when i could not look at myself, 

you held me

when i felt betrayed. 

you stood by me when i failed

and said that hope is on the way. 

you warmth made the hurt go away,

your kindness made the pain wash away. 

you accepted me with my flaws,

never cajoled me to change. 

but now i wish to overcome my weekness,

so that i can on my own

find my way to you... 

- Pooja A Shrivastava 

Stranger on the Way

Was on my way, walking away,
when i saw a freckled known face
I wanted to turn away,no desire to say "Hey"
I looked down, too hesitant,
too awkward too shocked now to step away.
Cornered on my way, with the face inches away,
Forcing me to meet its eyes.

The eyes showed me no mercy,
they showed me no cruelty
they showed me no judgement
they showed me no pain

The eyes reflected to truth,
they reflected the fact,
they reflected the acts
they reflected the tracks.

The freckled face so familiar,
spoke to me now,
"Running away is never the answer
because there is no real running away.
Even if you outrun others,
you can never out run your SELF."
"I am you, or what was YOU,
I am still beneath all the layers,
I am the eyes of your conscience,
seeing you the way no one else ever can"

"Accept the past, Accept the actions,
Accept the remorse of the deeds done on the way.
Learn from your mistakes, don't forget them
the regret  won't let you sleep
and remorse won't let you breathe."

"Make your wrongs right,
Undo the actions did in anger,
Redo the work with pure love,
You may then be allowed to sleep
and the dreams will then take over."

-Pooja A Shrivastava

TIME SHALL TELL!

Time shall tell
about the unplanned days
Time shall tell
about the sleepless nights
Time shall tell
about the mourning
Time shall tell
about the pains of the wait
Time shall tell
about the depths of heart
Time shall tell
about the heights of fall
Time shall tell
about the valleys within.
Time shall tell
about the scared spirit.

Time shall tell
about the unknown calling
Time shall tell
about the healed one's journey
Time shall tell
about the Rising of an Unified Soul
Time shall tell
about this Soul's journey ahead
Towards its Home.

-- Pooja A Shrivastava

कुछ पुरानी यादेँ.

कुछ पुराने पन्ने किताब के
आज युही जो पलट गए
ताज़ी हुई यादों के बहाने जो मिल गए
छिपकर बैठे आंसू को
किनारे यों मिल गए ।
आज बीत गया यादों के संघ
अब कल की ओर नहीं भी कोई शर्म
बीत गए है वोह पल जिनसे था हमें डर।
कुछ पुराने पन्ने किताब के
आज युही जो गए पलट,
ताज़ी हुई यादे आज
मुस्कुरदिये अब फिर हम।

- पूजा श्रीवास्तव